Why No One Ever Worked Out
By Laura Smartt
I know as you read the title you think that I’ve finally found the right person. WRONG!
I haven’t found the right person and I certainly am not looking for the right person.
But recently I sat down to have a conversation with someone, and they asked the question, Why has none of my relationships worked?
I thought about the answer long and hard and wanted to give a cliché answer such as God is saving you for the best person.
Which wasn’t a wrong answer, but it’s the answer that we tell everyone just to uplift their spirit because they’re torn down.
But this time I embarked on telling the truth.
The answer no one wants to hear.
The answer is because you haven’t healed from past situations that have occurred in your life.
Now I’m not just speaking on dating, but personal matters such as mother and father issues.
The real issues that we let bypass each day without formally addressing, because we just don’t want to deal with them or talk about them.
We feel like what’s done is done and we can’t change it.
What if the issues that are holding you hostage and allowing the men or women in your life to retract as soon as they find out that you have issues?
Listen ladies, no man should have to fix what he didn’t break, but he should be able to love the broken parts of you, if you allow him to.
Men, no woman should have to carry the hurt you won’t acknowledge because you were raised that you can’t show weakness. She shouldn’t have to fish for information about why you are the way you are without a tangible explanation.
Often, we bury things so deep and forget to deal with things until the issue we thought we fixed is staring us right in the face.
We jump from relationship to relationship without healing from the last one, or figuring out why it didn’t work out. Looking at the reason it didn’t work out or we spend time blaming the other person for the reason it didn’t work out.
Lack of communication has an issue attached to it.
Cheating has an issue attached to it.
Lack of trust has an issue attached to it.
Whether we want to acknowledge the issue or not, it isn’t going anywhere
Sometimes we need to have a mirror experience, look in the mirror and see what is staring back at you.
I’m not speaking on the outside of you, but the inside.
Why do you attract the same type of man or the same type of woman?
What in me needs to be healed?
I realized that most of the people I encountered had issues, but the reason I attracted them was because of my issues.
You can’t expect God to send you “the one” while you’re damaged.
Sometimes your issues will speak to their issues and create a dysfunctional encounter where neither one of you can thrive in.
You have issues and they have issues and every argument is an excuse, not to get better but to say “take me as I am” or “look past how I am”.
If you’re wondering why no one ever worked out, check your issues.
About Laura Smartt
Laura Smartt is a lifestyle contributor for oprahzipbradford.com and the creator of Raising Up Queens: Empowering The Queen In You. She resides in Huntsville working in healthcare and ministry. You can check out her blog at http://www.raisingqueens.com