For some women, its been a while since the whole “relationship” thing. For some women, being single is a personal choice until the right one comes along and they are perfectly fine on waiting until it happens. For some women, being single isn’t fun and they struggle with inner emotions.

If you’re a single woman who has a case of the struggles, let me say that you are not alone. Which is why I wrote this blog to tell you as a woman…I know the feeling. I’ve been there. The key to getting over your struggles is realizing that finding happiness with yourself first is the key to everything else falling in place. Listed below are 7 struggles some single women experience:

1.) Lonely Nights & Holidays.

You can go the whole day feeling awesome and productive, and that little feeling hits you on nights where you find yourself sleeping alone and having no one to talk to about the awesome day you just had. On holidays, you may feel empty because you want the feeling of sharing this special day with your SOS. Sure, family and friends are great and they’re a blessing to be around, but you still feel like something is missing. This is completely normal. Instead of feeling down, surround yourself with positive energy and people you love. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have at the moment, focus on the ones that mean the world to you and vice versa.

2.) Being Asked To Be a Bridesmaid in Weddings.

You probably feel like Jane in 27 Dresses. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. You are thrilled and happy about your friend’s big day, but you can’t help but wonder…when is my big day coming? Weddings are beautiful, but a lot of people miss the bigger picture. And that is the actual marriage and what it stands for. If your prince charming hasn’t found you yet, don’t stress about it. You can’t rush forever. Besides, you’re not in a competition with anyone. This is your life and you make the rules. Don’t be in a rush to settle down with just anyone just because you feel like the clock is ticking and/or everyone around you is getting married. Jane’s time came in 27 Dresses. Your time will come too.

3.) Having Inconsistent Relationships.

You meet this awesome guy. He is everything you ever wanted. You’re texting your friends about him and you’re thrilled that this is it! He has finally found you! Then boom, the red flags hit like a freight train and this mystery man starts revealing layers about him that leaves you disappointed. Now here you are texting your friends, “nvm, false alarm!” Trust me honey, we’ve all been there and it’s not a good feeling especially when you were really feeling the guy. If you’re single, date and don’t settle. You owe it to yourself to find the person that is the right match for you (including his/her flaws).

4.) Boredom and Loneliness

I always tell single women to live their life, single or not! If you’re not in a serious relationship, this is the perfect time to work on yourself and your goals instead of looking at it as a sign of loneliness. You want to go back to school? Go get your degree. You want to travel? Travel! Start scratching off things on your bucket list even if you have to do it alone for now. Remember, the key to self-happiness is the happiness that you give yourself! Don’t leave room in your life to be “bored.”

5.) Becoming The “Bitter Ex”

You probably was in a loving relationship that turned sour and it left you heartbroken. Now it seems like your exes have moved on and are happy in new relationships. But you find yourself stuck…still hurt from the past and the cards life has dealt you so far. Time heals all wounds. It is okay to not be okay. It is not okay to stay in that place forever. In order to move on and let things manifest in your life, you have to let go of the things and people that hurt you in the past. Forgive them even if they don’t deserve it. The forgiveness isn’t for them, its for you. 

6.) Thinking You’ll Never Find The One

I know some women who don’t have the desire to be in a monogamous relationship and they don’t want to get married. And they’re happy. They made a personal decision for their life and they’re content and happy with no regrets. I also know some women who are struggling with their singleness in silence with the desire for that relationship they are yearning for. I learned over the years to always expect the unexpected. When you truly start living your life, everything that you see as a mess will work out for you in the end.

“Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will evade you, but if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder.”

― Henry David Thoreau

 

7.) Fears and Insecurities

“I’m broken.”

“I’m not enough.”

“I will be single forever.”

Words and emotions have power over you…if you let them. Make it a personal goal to talk to yourself with love instead of hatred. Fix your thoughts! Remind yourself that you are enough no matter how many times your heart got broken or how many times you’ve struggled with something you felt like you couldn’t get over. Despite your fears, you are living and that is confirmation that your journey is not over. 

“I’m healed.”

“I AM enough.”

“I know how to give myself happiness first. Being single does not define me.”

 

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Until next time,

Zip.