A Message To My Single Queens

 Worthy is she.

“I didn’t always know my worth as a woman. I was taught how I was supposed to be treated and what I deserved, but I didn’t practice my worth. I allowed things to happen that belittled me within, but ironically I am grateful those hurtful situations happened. It made me grow into a better woman. I don’t search for myself or my state of happiness in other people. That is a job I have to do myself. It is not always easy, but being your own best friend is the best gift you can give yourself.”

“If he doesn’t bring out the best in you, he is not the best you can do. Never take your crown off for a man.”

 

“Darling, you may be intense, but the right man will be able to handle you.”

She is complicated and intense. She argues with him too much because she cares about every little detail. He has never loved this quality of a woman before. He is lost. So what does he do? He hides his pride and emotions from himself and her. Instead, he spends nights with women less complicated that he doesn’t care about. When he closes his eyes every night, he thinks of her. She knows she left his mark on him. She loved a man too much, a man that wasn’t ready. He knows she is never coming back. She starts questioning herself about where she went wrong or if she should have done more. It was simple. She was a good woman, but he was a man that wasn’t ready.

“A man that works hard and puts in effort to show that he is all for you deserves everything.”

A Queen deserves everything, but she must remember that a hard working King deserves everything as well. You have to remember a man is not perfect, but show appreciation if he is doing everything that he is supposed to be doing in a relationship. Too many women have this strong independent mentality that can scare a good man away. There is nothing wrong with being independent, but let your man do his part by being your man. If you act like you don’t need a man, you can’t get mad when he doesn’t like one. Get the line “I don’t need a man for nothing” out of your vocabulary. Seeking companionship means you are willing to be obligated and compromise with the right man. If you aren’t ready to practice this, you are not ready for a relationship. Remember: GOD DIDN’T MAKE US TO BE ALONE.

 

“When a man pursues you, it’s up to you on how he will treat you. He can only do what you allow him to do.”

 

His “manhood” should just be a bonus, not the focus. I write down the qualities I want in my King, so they can be instilled in my head. I had this huge fear that I was going to meet the perfect guy who met all the qualities I wanted, but he wouldn’t be able to satisfy me on all levels. Then I realized that I had bigger problems. I can’t worry about the irrelevant things if he can’t even nourish my soul first. The King designed for me will be able to satisfy me on all levels.

 

“He is your ex for a reason. A Queen doesn’t cry over expired milk.”

Past love may take you back to memory lane. A familiar face can bring back so many emotions. Then you remember you are not on that road anymore. You paved your way to find your soul mate. It’s okay to remember your heartaches. Just don’t go back to the place and the person that killed you in the first place. Relationships that don’t work are good lessons. Your standards get higher and your tolerance get lower. Don’t bring ex- baggage with you when you are involved with someone new. If you are comparing past relationships to your current one, you are not fully healed to belong to someone. Get over your past before you share yourself again.

“If he can’t look in your eyes and see you are good enough, then don’t open your legs for him. Don’t use your vagina for confirmation that you are good enough.”

Honey, your body is a temple. Treat it like one. Every man that whisper sweet nothings in your ear should not have full access to your body. If a man thinks of you as a prude for not being easy or forces you for sex, then say bye to him. Train your body to be strong because the flesh is very weak. Temptation will occur. Lustful thoughts will occur. Never be ashamed for keeping your legs closed.

 

Laugh at the ones who tell you “I don’t see what you see in him.”

You’re not supposed to. His glow was made just for me. He unleashed his naked soul under our privacy. He was darkness and I became his light. I only understand the way he looks at me. I unlocked my door for happiness to come in. He didn’t have to knock. I knew when it was the right time to let him come in.

Forever two souls intertwined.

Forever me.

Forever you.

 

Walking away and getting back up after a heartbreak makes you a stronger woman. So, polish your jewels on your crown and keep moving forward!

I use to be an “I can’t walk away” type of person. When I saw the damage I was doing to myself internally just to please others, I knew I had to change because they never will. Destructive relationships are like tapeworms. They will eat you alive. Getting out of a destructive is tough because you always think things will get better. No human being should make you have to question your worth. If this is the case, it is time to walk away. Life is too short to play “yo-yo” with people and let them take you for granted. You can’t keep picking a scab and expect it to heal properly.

“If a man can’t see your invisible crown, you don’t need him.”

And that’s okay if he doesn’t see your crown. This doesn’t make you any less than the Queen that you are. Every man you encounter will not be the right one for you. Some men just come into your life to be merely a life lesson. Just because a man pursues you and takes interest does not make him the right one. Be careful who you invest your time in.

 

Blessings, 

Zip.

To order Oprah “Zip” Bradford’s new Christian fiction bestseller, Finding Solace, click the link https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Solace-Broken-Daughters-1/dp/0692720111/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470944389&sr=8-1&keywords=finding+solace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Amanya says:

    Thank you for this article. Every woman needs some help in this area at some point in our life , unless they’ve been blessed. You have helped me personally, thank you.

    Like

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