Roses and Cranes: Changing Your Perspective on Pain

I remember when I first heard “A Rose is Still A Rose”by Aretha Franklin as a child. I didn’t understand the depth of the song at all. My mama said I would understand the meaning when I got older…she was right. A Rose is Still a Rose is one of my favorite songs on the planet. The words are still relevant today. Not because of a girl getting her heart broken for the first time, but the song also prepares you for getting over any situation that may cause some hurt in your life.  If I knew what I know now, I would tell my younger self…”Your life will not be over because you gained some disappointments.” Your life will go on. For a brief moment, you will be feeling like Solange and try to “away” everything that makes you feel like a sucker. away1

Solange, we feel you girl! I tried to AWAY everything when I get in a depressed mood. I cry about it for a few minutes. Then I wipe my eyes, realize I’m still a rose, and I get my life together! I am guilty of being super extra when I’m trying to get over something! I might buy a new dress after a heartbreak. I might cut my hair when I feel a new sense of liberation. No matter how I process the pain, it brings a change that I need. If I’m frustrated with my brand, I change the direction it’s going in. If I’m frustrated with my job, I change my perspective and give myself a gentle reminder I won’t be working there forever. If I get tired of people, I take some me time and get my energy back. Every day is a new way to change something you have control over. It’s a new time to refocus and forget about what had you worried yesterday.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. “ Matthew 6:34

When we get out of bed everyday and start a new day, going out that door is a risk. We don’t know what we will bump into, who will piss us off, and what will happen that day. As soon as my key is in the ignition, I’m saying a short prayer to God to cover me and giving me power to humble myself (in case someone didn’t have their Cheerios that morning and decides to try me)! As living is a gift that shouldn’t be taken for granted, it can also be nerve wracking if you’re a person that likes to control everything that happens in their life. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The only power we have is our response and actions to things that happen to us daily. We can’t control everything around us, but we do control who and what we let affects us. Some of choose the wild side and think about life’s consequences later. Some of us are safe- overthinking all the things we don’t want to go wrong, so we don’t do anything out of our comfort zone. Some of us takes chances when it starts aligning with the direction of our lives. Different journeys bring different results in all of us.


“But he who dares not grasp the thorn, should never the rose” is a poem written by Anne Bronte, an English novelist and poet. If you don’t plan on catching me, don’t even waste energy on me. Some of us don’t have limit to our love or appreciation of people. We put our all in situations because we want so badly for other people to be just as loving as us. It would be surreal if everybody we poured ourselves into poured themselves back to us. Once again…this is not the case in life. Some of us will get drainers- people who don’t do anything except take away a part of the person we are. We crave different people which can lead us in trouble especially if that particular person hurts you- a person who was your anchor is now the reason you are sinking in mixed thoughts. That’s when you start feeling Wale-ish like its okay to neglect the what ifs and make it do what it does. That’s when you start craving attention from the wrong things and going out of your way to be rebellious. Feeling anything other than the hurt person you are right now is the goal. Here’s the painful truth and I need you to swallow it whole. To some people, you are disposable. You are nothing to them. Those people may be the cause of the hurt, but they don’t have the power in how you decide to channel it. No matter how many sh***y people you will meet, you are not disposable to God. You will not be everybody’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. You will be the best part of someone’s day, but your best part of the day should start with YOU.

Often it’s the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.

                                                                             – Karen Salmansohn

It took me years to train myself into looking at “pain as purpose”. I like to call it “uncomfortable grace” stages. I mean, how can something that hurts so much really make me into a better person? That’s what I told myself for years. As I got older and learned more about life, my perspective did a 360. Changing my perspective was the best thing I did for self. I’m not saying I’m a fan of pain, but I do react better in situations I would have freaked out about 5 years ago. Your attitude towards everything helps align all the good that is waiting for you.


Until next time,



2 Comments Add yours

  1. Jasmine - The Crowning Glory 👑 says:

    Wow this is so true! Perspective is everything! We have to train our minds to see the good in every thing.


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