Meet the Browns
Written by Tedra Tyson
So often people want your glory, but truly do not understand your story. My husband and I will be married for six years in October. Six years of good, complications, and straight up ugly!
We fell in love my senior year of high school. We reunited 3 years later. We got married. We were 23 and 21 years old; babies in the eyes of the wise. What we knew about marriage is what we seen growing up. When we decided to get married we based it from the love and the attraction that would not go away each time we seen each other or heard each other’s voice; and we did not want to “shack up”. We got pass the wedding and honeymoon, then marriage life really hit.
Year one consisted of 2 residence moves, high times, low times, and hardships. I guess you can say this was the “make it or break it” phase for us. It didn’t get better in year two. While everyone seen us in year two physically, mentally we were still stuck in year one blinded by the heartaches and hardships. We lacked effective communication. We didn’t know how to communicate, so we didn’t and we didn’t ask for help either. “My people are destroyed for the lack of knowledge.” (Hosea 4:6 KJV) Two different personalities, upbringing, opinions, blue, purple. One thing we didn’t know going into marriage is you must make room for growth, especially if you are as young as we were. We were married, but still had the mindset of a bachelor and bachelorette. With growth comes change. This can be quite uncomfortable because not only are you growing and maturing but your spouse is going through the process as well, so you feel like you don’t know them.
Going into year three, we made the unspoken decision to stay together. This is where transition took place. I had lost my job, my husband was working three jobs, and we were staying with family. While the hubby was out working, I was at home fasting and praying! I was tired of playing games with the enemy, it was time to take back our marriage, and that meant sacrificing somethings. Early I didn’t mention anything about God or us going to God during our rough patch. We weren’t praying together or reading our Bibles, we were just doing what we wanted. In marriage, it is imperative to keep God in the equation. Without Him, you have nothing and you are setting your marriage up for failure!
The Bible tells us where there is no vision the people perish. (Prov. 29:18) We had no vision! Big faith, but no vision. God began to shift our focus, which shifted out mindsets. Knocking on year six door, we continue to allow God to guide us and we are learning to align our life with His will. I encourage all young married couples to not give up so easily. Quitting is the easy way out. Grab your significant others hand and ride out those waves together! #TeeJayBee
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