As women, we have all had a man who just wouldn’t do right to save his life. Yet, we still stayed trying to make him change or convince him we are the woman that he needs to settle down with (even though this whole time you know he ain’t no good, but you still want him to put a ring on it.) Majority of women have been in this place in their life (and some still are.) It is exhausting and it’s not fun. But WHY do we put ourselves through it?

I am a B fan and I loved when she released Lemonade. Her “Virgo way” of expressing herself had people going bananas, and it made me proud, yet I know B is just like the rest of us Virgos- she loves HARD and wants to make it work. I feel your pain sis, its not all fun and games when the person you love is out here messing up. She is a billionaire, but at the end of the day, she is also a normal woman who was scorned and torn by the man she loves. When 4:44 was released, I loved it because Hov did something that most men don’t do- he was honest about his mistakes while still spreading knowledge in the album.  He may be a billionaire, but at the end of the day, he is a normal man who almost Eric Benet’ed and lost his rib. He is a man who matured and swallowed his pride admitting he is not perfect just like the rest of us. He admitted he was genuinely sorry.  He showed he was sorry.  We all mess up in relationships, but the importance is how you grow from it. Do you change when you realize you hurt the person who loves you? Or do you just change persons because you don’t want to change? We are not perfect. Men are not perfect…but ask yourself…

Sis, he said he is sorry. Does his patterns and behavior show he is sorry? Is his love for you stronger than his pride to admit he needs to be better for you?

Here you are taking him back expecting change. Here is other women sending you screenshots and coming to you “as a woman” proving he hasn’t changed. Here you are knowing the truth, but comfortable with it because you expected it. You knew it was too good to be true this time around, but you STILL gave him another chance…

“If he isn’t sorry…why are you?!”

Every relationship has their reasons why it didn’t work out. When you decide to give it another shot with a person, you go in expecting different results because you don’t want to end up back at square one like before. You expect different results because you hope the man in front of you has actually changed. If you get back with your ex, you really have to look for the signs of growth AND change. Men can tell you sweet nothings all day to get back in your heart and make you feel sorry for them. What actions are backing up his words? Do you see a new man with a new mindset who is really sorry? Do you see the same man who claims he is sorry, but nothing is changing? I learned a long time ago that some people may be genuinely sorry, but they are not sorry enough to change. And I’m not sorry enough to ask or beg you to change for me. If you fall for a man like this, its time to:

Catch my drift?

Stop expecting King qualities and expectations from clown men. A man who is a King now may have been broken, a cheater, and a manipulator back in the day, but it took a special woman to get his mind right. It took him getting right with God and getting tired of karma coming back on him. It took him getting it wrong so many times with women who accepted him as he was. It took him coming across a woman who challenged him. The woman who changed him wasn’t sorry, and that’s what made him change. She didn’t have time to be like the women in his past because she knows her worth and knows the tears ain’t worth it. There are men out here where no woman has changed him. He will never be sorry. And you shouldn’t waste time convincing him to.

We all take chances with people we love. When people show you who they are, believe them. When people promise to change and they don’t, believe them. Leave and move on wishing them well. Don’t be sorry about it either.

Until next time,

Zip.