We get it. Singlehood is not always fun, but its always worth the wait! It was an honor to catch up and talk with the beautiful lifestyle blogger Tianesia Davidson as she discussed life before marriage, juggling a business while being a wife, and remaining positive as a single woman.
Your business Millennial Wives Club is empowerment for the millennial woman who are married/seeking marriage. Did you start the business before or after you were married? What motivated you to start it?
TIANESIA: “The Millennial Wives Club started November 25, 2016 after getting married to my husband on July 16, 2016. Even after living with my husband for 4 years before getting married, I soon noticed a change in not only our relationship together but also how I was being perceived as a wife soon after marriage. Not to mention the perfect couple goals pictures I’d see on social media and how many women seemed to be handling life as a wife so well! Meanwhile on my end, we were arguing every week and some days I just didn’t like my husband lol. In addition to normal goals and life expectations for yourself, there are expectations that you create and that others create for you once you get married. It’s a lot of pressure trying to get your career going and keeping your house, your body, and your significant other in order. It is no longer just about you. There is a transition that happens, and sometimes I felt like I was having a harder time than others. So I searched for groups, blogs, and forums that were speaking on topics that I was currently experiencing in my first year of marriage and I didn’t find anything. I actually found resources telling me how to be the perfect wife in 1-2-3 steps, how wives should submit to their husband, and why you should put your husband’s needs before yours. I just wasn’t at that point in my life where I could relate to that kind of advice, and I was looking for something that wasn’t trying to tell me how I should do something because I felt like I had an unique situation. Instead I just needed a little humor, relatability, and understanding without being judged about not having it all figured out. So I created my own platform sharing my own experiences about marriage, tips for Millennial Singles and Millennial Wives to be, and sharing Millennial Magic and Inspiration by highlighting other millennials doing positive things. All aspects that represent transitions.”
Patience is a virtue! What hiccups did you go through with men before you met your husband? How did that get you ready for your husband?
TIANESIA: “Before I met my husband, I actually had ZERO patience and I pretty much made it up in my mind that marriage was just not in my cards. I thought that I would “be a playa” forever. As a single woman, I pretty much had a cold heart and I just never saw a man being able to withstand “my wrath” so to speak. I basically thought like a guy due to growing up with nothing but men in my family, so I was able to catch all the games and lies before I could actually fall for them. The guys that were bad for me, I knew they were bad for me and I chose to keep them around because I thought of it as a challenge. I was one of those people who got disinterested if there wasn’t constant change or challenge in the relationship, which is a fancy phrase for drama. It took me realizing that at some point I would have to grow up and act like an adult and that I was only doing myself a disservice by not opening up and giving anyone a real chance to challenge my heart. After I graduated college, I prayed for God to pull those thoughts and beliefs out of me and to bring a man in my life sent by him. I asked him to make it clear as day and to remove those who were not meant to be in my future. I didn’t go out looking for man with intentions on dating, instead I just lived my life and worked on being happy with myself. That summer, I found my husband. He was everything I ever wanted and exactly what I needed. It was VERY clear that this man was sent by God, just like I prayed for. Check out the blog to read about our crazy story!”
Women being okay with being the “other women” seems to be normal in our generation and its sad. Why do you think it’s the “norm” for some women now?
TIANESIA: “Being “the other woman” is normal to our generation because it’s in the music, it’s on tv, it’s in books, it’s on social media, and in the movies being portrayed as sexy, new, easy, fun, and relaxing compared to the wife who is distracted (by career, kids, home life etc.) and not attentive to her husband’s needs. We see in the media how “being the other woman” can successfully break up a happy home, because the man is feeling neglected or emasculated. There isn’t enough publicity about people valuing their marriage, there isn’t enough media promoting healthy marriages, and there isn’t enough people showing how to overcome obstacles by being an example in their own marriage. Marriage is hard and it takes work every day. So women okay with being “the other woman” think that they have something else to offer a man because the assumption of a woman letting themselves go once married is what’s being portrayed in the media. That’s simply not true, but that’s what’s out there. Those examples are enough to make those women who are okay with being the other woman feel justified in believing that they aren’t wrong.”
What did you learn from “wife life” that married women didn’t tell you before you got married?
TIANESIA: “Before I became a wife, married women didn’t tell me that it is not my husband’s responsibility to fulfill all of my needs and make me happy. I really thought THAT was the whole point of getting married lol. I soon realized that my husband was just a resource and God is the source. Instead of putting that pressure and responsibility on my husband, I am to seek God to fulfill me.”
What is the best advice you have for single women who are tired of waiting and tired of trying?
TIANESIA: “The advice that I 100% stand behind for single women is to enjoy your singleness, because it is sacred too! Being happy by yourself is the first step in preparing to be happy with someone else. Ask yourself, if God sent me my husband today, am I ready? Just live your life and be yourself and when you are divinely ready, God will fulfill your heart’s desire. We don’t always know what we want or what we need but God knows. If he has provided all your needs up to this point and if you know that he wants the very best for you, then why wouldn’t he send you the love of your life? Don’t rush it! Just be obedient and the rest will come.”
Woman empowerment is so important and we need to lift each other up! What has empowering other women taught you about yourself?
TIANESIA: “Empowering other women has taught me that the more I give, the more I receive back. Just opening myself up to support and acknowledge the success of other women has allowed me to gain meaningful friendships, valuable resources, and endless opportunities.”
What is the bible verse that got you through your rocky single days? What is the one that gets you through your marriage?
TIANESIA: “Honestly, Single Tia didn’t have any particular bible verses to get me through my rocky single days. Instead I would write positive affirmations on sticky notes and post them all around my apartment. The Serenity Prayer was definitely a constant reminder for me and still is actually. As a wife, I still do the positive affirmations but I also seek God who speaks to me through different scriptures during my time with him. Nonetheless, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” is a great reminder of what love is.”
Tianesia Davidson is the Creator and Editor in Chief of the lifestyle blog,The Millennial Wives Club. As a millennial wife, she wanted to create a platform that represents the realities of not only marriage, but life as a millennial woman in transition. The blog features different stories about women adjusting to a new identity as a wife or mother, dating, finding your purpose in life, figuring out your dream career, maintaining good health, maintaining side hustles, and moving to a new city. All women can relate to the content on this blog at some point in life. The goal and mission of The Millennial Wives Club is to figure out life together and to be supportive of wherever you are in life so that you know that you are not alone.
3 Comments Add yours
Awesome steps in guiding others to the light! Marriage is (an) US, not them. Nice read.