As I sit here currently at 12am writing my new book and drinking my second cup of coffee, I sit back and wonder at how much dedication and hard word it takes to truly become a “bawse.” I love the late hours because its when I get most of my work done and I can reflect on my day. I am always thinking of ways to become a better person overall while still being a badass who is about her platform. I live to be a future bawse. In the urban dictionary a “bawse” is simply a woman boss who is on her “ish” and isn’t afraid to show it. She is confident. She is fearless. She knows what she is capable of and she is humble enough to accept the things she is not. Matter of fact, she does everything in her power to try for she knows you can’t be an expert on the first try.
Today made my two year anniversary blogging and it has been an interesting journey! I connected with a lot of dope people. I featured numerous women whose platforms are taking over the globe. Most importantly, my readers got a chance to know Oprah: the real me, my daily struggles, my lifetime goals, my love for God, and my love for empowering others. From day one of this journey, I have always been headstrong about being a positive influence to everyone, especially the everyday woman who goes through the same things I do. I know what its like to feel empty, afraid, and lost. No matter what, eventually you have to smile through the pain and realize every situation is temporary.
I thought of the bawse experience as a reminder of my goals as a woman. Listed below are some golden rules I have applied to my life in 2017.
Always choose you.
This doesn’t mean you go in selfish mode and stop helping others. This means putting yourself first when you feel like you really need to. Sometimes in our life, we get so caught up taking care of others that we forget we need some TLC for ourselves also. Don’t forget your dose of self-love.
2. Everybody can’t come. Stop holding on to seasonal people.
You may feel yourself shying away from people in your life who don’t share the same intellect, goals, direction, or is simply just taking up space and energy in your life. It’s a one-sided street meaning they only benefit from you, but they have nothing to offer you back. There are people I was close to last year that I don’t have room for in my life this year. No love is lost. You just have to accept that everybody can’t come in every season of your life.
3. If you have a vision, you will be BUSY.
If you are a bawse or a major figure, you most likely have a platform or a business followed by a large following of people who are waiting for you to make your next move. Therefore, you don’t have time to be lazy if you have a gift that needs to be stirred up everyday. There is no room for mediocrity if you are the source of inspiration, even to one person. I always remind myself when I get weary of well doing: I KNOW YOU’RE TIRED. I know its stressful wanting to quit when you don’t see the results instantly. Always remember: The harder it gets, the closer you are to achieving that dream.
4. Unless God sent you, Shawty I’m unavailable.
I use to struggle letting people go because it always felt like I was giving up on a person. I didn’t like that feeling, so I had a tendency letting people stay longer than they should have. Take it from me. It is mentally exhausting and it only hurts you in the long run. As a bawse, your time can’t be wasted. That goes for irrelevant friendships, bad business relationships and destructive romantic relationships. When you’re putting in overtime during the weeks, you don’t really have time for bull. Which takes us back to #2, use your time wisely. Whether its professional or romantic relationships, a lot of people might want to work with you or be with you. As for me, I’m not impressed by the people who WANT me professionally or romantically. A lot of people will try to get close to you, but their intentions may not be good. I’m paying attention to the ones who VALUE me and can teach me something. I’m paying attention to the ones who knows what I bring to the table and brings their own food too. Then as a team, we eat together. We grow together. People who lack substance and drive in life have no problem wasting time or distracting a person on their mission. Do not get distracted.
5. Feeling isolated is normal and necessary sometimes. Elevation requires separation.
“When you are a giraffe and you receive criticism from turtles, they are reporting the view from the level they are on. -T.D. Jakes
This week, I worked so hard and I was proud. I also realized I felt isolated and disconnected from people I was used to talking to everyday. The feeling of separating yourself from the world to focus is not always easy, but it makes your elevation higher. Having a platform does have its perks and I don’t mind constructive criticism from people who are doing better than me and genuinely wants me to be better at what I do. What I do mind is constructive criticism from people who aren’t doing anything constructive, but finds time to focus on what you lack on. It’s always the ones who never accomplish anything that have the most to say. All you can do is move forward from that point. This lifestyle will never be easy…but it damn sure is worth it…