Hey My Loves,
Welp…it’s Thursday. Blah blah blah is the feeling I woke up with this morning (but I didn’t forget to thank God for another day to open up my eyes even though I’m not feeling it.)
But enough of my bitching….let’s get to the reason why this blog is happening this morning. I woke up knowing that I had work to do because Zip Brand doesn’t run by itself and I have no time to be a lazy ass even when I want to go back to bed and try again tomorrow. (It sucks being an overachiever sometimes!)
Anywoo, I was bombarded with missed texts and e-mails this morning and I became overwhelmed already before I even had time to brush my teeth. Some were about business and some were people asking my advice on things. And I can’t leave out the people who always need a favor. As much as I love being Dr. Phil to my friends, loved ones, and people I inspire, I have to have juice to keep going. When I run out of juice -well- I’m like a car with no gas- I’m stuck and I’m not good for anything. You don’t realize how many people you impact until you really sit back and think like, “Damn, how do I manage to do all this and still have out time for myself?”
Imagine a person who spends their whole life just pleasing others and forgets about their own well-being.
You ever met a person who just says YES to everything? Everything you ask them? Everything you tell them to do? Jump off a cliff maybe?
Ehhh… “yes” people bother me, not because they’re sweethearts, but because they literally do what people tell them like they’re robots and their life revolves around making others happy. Honey, you’re a child of God, but me and you are NOT him. We are not perfect like him, and we can’t be a million places at the same time like him, so it’s impossible to please EVERYBODY. So don’t even try it. It will save you some time and stress not needed.
To whom much is given, much is required, and it’s a blessing to be a blessing to others. But you must remember you can be a blessing without being a “YES” person.
I remember a time in my life when it was hard to say no to people, especially the ones who hold a soft spot in my heart. I was so bad that I actually FELT bad when people needed something and I simply just couldn’t do it. It was like a sense of responsibility for me- to look out for the people I cared about. That’s when I had to check myself one day and say, “Oprah, you’re always there for so-and-so, but are they here for YOU?”
Things that make you go hmmm…
Some of the people that were take take take in my life were nowhere to be found when it was time to give give give. It was a one-sided reciprocity of giving and I was the giver who got the short end of the stick.
If you’re a yes person who always gets screwed over, STOP it right now! I know you’re confused because I just wrote an entire book about being fruitful and becoming a better person (By the way, check out my new book I’m a Bad Christian to become more fruitful.) To be fruitful is to be productive and produce good results. It doesn’t say anywhere that fruitful is enabling a person to come to you for all their problems expecting you to get them out of it every time. To stop being a YES person requires tough love and the ability to say the magical word: NO (and learn to say this beautiful word NO in the right situations…without an explanation behind it!)
Sure, everybody needs a favor every now and then and nobody can make it in this world alone or without help. What you can’t allow is for someone to cause you to put your problems to the side to be front row for theirs (Except if you have children. That’s a blessing and a sacrifice you signed up for. They don’t apply to my rant.)
Stop saying YES to that relationship you’re miserable in, but don’t want to leave. Stop saying YES to that job you hate when you should be putting your degree into use. Stop saying YES to people who only call you when there is rain in their life, so they decide to make it rain on your parade too. Stop saying YES to people who never want to celebrate your victories with you, but expect you to support them on theirs. Stop saying YES to making decisions you don’t want because you feel intimidated by the people who think its “best for you.” Stop lending money to people who never pay you back. Stop putting your happiness on the back-burner to make a person feel better about themselves. Stop saying YES to things that leave you so depressed and you have to fake a smile to the world like you’re A-okay.
You can still be the loving vibrant person that you are, but you also have the right to let people know when they got you f****d up. Catch my drift? Stop enabling people. Stop saying YES to things you know you shouldn’t be doing in the first place.
I woke up in a not so good state because I’m mentally drained by the people I’m always saying YES to. Just like I’m calling you out on your yes-ness, I’m judging my yes-ness too.
On that note, I’m about to start my day with no distractions ( I turned my phone off. I don’t want to ADULT today, so I’m not.) I’m going to scratch things off my writing agenda, finish reading “I’m Judging You” by Luvvie Ajayi, and finish the night off with Netflix, an overload of snacks, and wait on the new episode of “How To Get Away With Murder” to flash on my TV screen tonight. Now I’ll say YES to that!
Until next time,
Enjoyed this blog? Check out Oprah’s new book I’m a Bad Christian! Click the link below!
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