Hey My Loves!
As you can see, I’m on a roll this week! Maybe it’s because my upcoming book, “I’m A Bad Christian”is releasing this Friday that has given me a sudden boost!
This morning, I woke up inspired to write another message for my single queens because I know you guys go through the same things I do. All of us want to meet our permanent boo, but in the meantime, have fun with your single hood! Do everything you can to enjoy every moment in single kingdom. I’ve compiled a simple list that will snatch your life together! If you’re single, do everything in your power to complete everything on the “10 point Single Woman’s Checklist” (and some of the points apply to the taken women too, I got love for yall also)!
Travel, travel, travel! Go to different states and at least one different country! If you don’t have a passport, now is the time to get one! Swim with the dolphins, eat foods you can’t pronounce, taste wines you can’t afford, and get lost in a beautiful city! Explore different types of the world and meet new people along the journey. It’s fun traveling with loved ones and a significant other, but invest on a trip to go on remotely ALONE in your singlehood. This will help you cope if you have fear inside of being alone. Eventually you will start to enjoy your own solitude, meaning you won’t pick someone to be with that isn’t better than your solitude. You can learn a lot about yourself when you have time to just RELAX.
2.) Read a book that will change your life.
Do it! The main areas in your life that need improvement? Find a book about it. Read it for clarity and more understanding about yourself. Ask other people what they recommend if you’re not up to par about what to pick. You don’t have to be a book worm, but find a book that will change your life the minute you complete it. (Sidenote: You are a BadAss by Jen Sincero changed my life!)
3.) Mingle before you pick your mate.
Honey, don’t pick the first thing smoking that comes your way. There is plenty more of where that came from. As you become older, your standards become higher. You should never settle for your definition of mediocrity. Different things work for different people. Date until you find the person that DOES NOT give you butterflies. Yep, I said it! If you’re all queasy inside, it’s probably a bad case of lust waiting to happen or a case of bad indigestion. Instead, search for a sense of warmth and security. Find the person who makes you comfortable on dates and you know you can be yourself with.
4.) Complete some things on your bucket list.
What is the biggest thing you want to do right now that makes you excited and scared at the same time?! What is stopping you? There is absolutely no reason why you can’t be scratching things off your bucket list and living your life to the fullest. Write your bucket list on real paper with a real pen, and give yourself a pat on the back every time you cross one out.
5.) Spend loads of time with your family and girlfriends.
In marriages, family and friends are still equally important. Relationships are a blessing from above, but it takes some sacrifices and one of them is not really having the free time you had when you were single. That time is probably now going to your own family with your spouse. When single, you have a lot of more time on your hands in your personal life. Don’t take that time for granted.
6.) Go on a blind date.
I’m not telling you to go on E-harmony, BlackPeopleMeet.com, ChristianMingle, and the other millions of sites right now to help you find “true love” (which I’ve known people to have successful relationships from those sites), but I also know people who have went on blind dates and ended up marrying the person! Your friends know people who know people. If someone says they have the “perfect person for you”, your automatic response is probably rolling your eyes and turning down the offer. Think long and hard about it. Besides, if it doesn’t work out, at least you know you tried!
(Sidenote: I went on a blind date set up by a mutual friend. Even though the guy and I wasn’t romantically compatible and not fit for each other, he ended up turning into a good friend who I now call and talk to when I have guy problems with other men lol.)
7.) Go overload in your career and education.
If you are single and already have your career and the ball is rolling, good for you! If you have a career and want to advance your education, now is the perfect time to do it. If you are single and don’t know the direction your life is going in, get your s**t together and put in overtime.
8.) Splurge on yourself!
You love yourself, so show yourself some love every once in a while! We all awe when we see people doing sweet things or buying cute gifts for their significant others. But you can also do that for yourself when you’re single. A splurge on yourself is not an act of selfishness, but a reminder that you deserve the finer things in life, even it means you have to give them to yourself right now.
9.) Take yourself out on dates.
I don’t care if people look at you crazy or think you’re waiting on someone. If they ask, say proudly “I’m on a date with myself.” Go see a movie. Treat yourself to dinner. Take a walk. Go on a picnic. Go shopping. Go to a museum or art show.Go skydiving. Go and do whatever the hell it takes to make you realize that your singlehood is not a disease!
10.) Clear your mind and love yourself!
The baggage from your past relationships: leave it in the past. It does not define you, and the relationship would’ve worked out if it was for you. Your heart and mind should be clutter free when you’re ready to hang up your singlehood. Stay single until you find a man who is worthy to be with rather than your own solitude. A man who doesn’t give you fake butterflies based off lust and looks. He gives you substance and security,letting you know when you’re wrong (and not afraid to tell you) and always having your back.Anything less than than is not worth giving up your singlehood.
I’m rooting for you Queens!!
Until next time,
Check out Oprah’s new self-help manual, “I’m A Bad Christian“